The Lonely
by Unicorngirl1101
Summary: Karkat Vantas is a normal kid. Boring school, Boring social life. Then Estelle happens and his world flips. For the better...? Lets wait and see on that one. My first fic! Using one of my OC's so if you like linear stories DON'T READ! Homestuck belongs to the HussMiester XCrappy summery is crappyX
1. The First Day

You are Karkat Vantas, you are 14 years old and are entering your first year of high school. You are awakened by your mother shaking you vigorously. "Karkat wake the fuck up! You'll be late!" You groggily look up at her to see her fully dressed for school. You look over at the clock to see that it's already 7:45. "Fuck." You mutter as you rush around trying to get all your shit together. _Great way to start off the school year. _You think to yourself, 10 minutes later you're out the door running down the street to Sinofsky High school.

You make it just as the bell rings. You slide into homeroom just before the teacher walked in.

"Hello everyone, my name is Ms. Lalonde. Call me Roxy if you so desire, other than that, I don't care." The woman says, she can't be much older than twenty and she's wearing black lipstick. Ms. Lalonde sits down at her desk and pulls out a laptop. "Talk quietly amongst yourselves" She says, then proceeds to start furiously typing on her laptop while sipping a martini.

You look around to see that none of your friends are in this class so you take out your notebook and start drawing. You hear the door quietly close and in walks a girl you've never seen. Waist length pink hair frames her slender frame and as she looks up you lock eyes. Her eyes are a deep navy blue. You stare down at your paper. The girl walks up to the teacher with a note in her hand.

Ms. Lalonde clears her throat. "Class, this is Estelle Clearwater. She is new here and I trust you will make her feel welcome."

_Clearwater?_ You wonder. Some girls behind you clear it up. "I heard her family owns like half the city." One whispers. "She has like 20 siblings and all of them are famous!" The other exclaims. "Actually I only have 12 siblings." Estelle says cooly.

Ms. Lalonde clears her throat. "Estelle why don't you have a seat next to Karkat, he'll be your tour guide for the day."

Estelle sits down in the desk next to you and looks at you expectantly. "Um…" you say. "Can I see your schedule?" She hands it over and you see that she has almost every class with you. "Okay so we both have art next so when this is over just follow me." You say. "Sure "she says and turns away. You see she pulls out an IPod and some ear buds and starts to listen to music. You both choose to ignore each other, that works for you.


	2. The Dumb Kid In Homeroom

**A/N This is the same damn chapter but from Estelle's pov. Enjoy! ;;;;) ( #SCORPIOPRIDE) XP**

You wake up and look over to the calendar. Its September 1st, first day of school. _And of the rest of my life. _You think to yourself. You pick out your outfit carefully. _Start as you mean to go on_. you remind yourself. you pick out an oversized sweatshirt and leggings with your favorite pink high-tops, you love them because they match your hair. After brushing through your waist length pink mane you run downstairs and see your older brother Arin cooking breakfast. "Hey A.C" you say. "Hey Estie" He says, plopping down a few pancakes on your plate. you scarf them down and run out the door, hoping you don't run into your father. _Bluh, just thinking about him gives me the shivers._

You walk into the school and stop at the office too pick up your schedule. You stand outside of the class as anxiety courses through veins. You can't seem to calm yourself so you do a few breathing exercises before you step into the room, making as little noise as possible. You hand the note the office gave you (about your condition) and you see a boy looking at you look back and see his eyes shift. _He's sorta cute. _You think._ No, no, no, what will Equius do if he finds out. I wouldn't wish his wrath on anyone. _

Ms. Lalonde announces your name the class and whispers break out amongst the room. You hear one girl talking about your siblings so you work up your courage and correct her.

"Actually I only have 12 siblings."

The glares she and her friends shoot are murderous. The teacher tells you to sit by the boy you saw earlier, he asks for your schedule and you dig it out of your messenger bag. You also dig out IPod and start listening to some music. Get Scared, perfect, that always calms you down. You ignore each other for the rest of class. You're okay with that


	3. A Little Help Please?

As homeroom lets out you see Estelle moving slowly to get her things, you patiently wait up and then walk out of the classroom together. When Estelle sees that the halls are almost empty she gives a small sigh of relief. Art passes quickly and so does biology, as you get up to leave with Estelle she sees the crowded hallway and you feel her breath constrict. You turn around and see her eyes wide in fear.

"You okay?" You ask softly, she says nothing, but you put your hand on her arm.

"Seriously, are you okay? You look kinda pale-"

You get cut off midsentence as she sprints into the nearest door (a janitor's closet) and closes the door. You run after her and find her sitting in the corner with her head between her knees.

"Estelle? What's going on?" You ask, harsher than you meant to.

"I…. Just really don't like crowds, okay?" she says. "Can you just wait here with me for a few minutes? Please?"The look in her eyes is pleading.

"Okay, okay."You say as you go to sit down next to her.

A minute passes of awkward silence passes before you ask "So what's your family like?"

she sighs. "Okay so Brian is the oldest, He works as my mom's personal assistant, and his twin Daniel, is a rapper and then Rosaline who works as a clothing designer and Danni the next oldest, is her head model."

She pauses to take a breath and continues. "Then Donna and the triplets Ariel, Lucy, and Bonnie are a girl group, Watertight. Then George and Joseph are twins, with George into pro football and Joe into pro hockey. And finally there's Devin a singer and Arin a pianist." She stops.

"And you?" you say.

"Huh? Oh yeah. Me too, the baby of the family." She sighs. "We can probably go now." She says as she stands.

You both get to the lunchroom and you see a huge guy running towards Estelle. "Where the hell were you?" He shouts.

"I-i-i-i got lost" she stammered.

You back away from the scene. "I told you to get here early! I saved you a seat!" The dude shoves her against the wall.

"Equius! Stop!" She yells halfheartedly.

"Don't tell me what to do!" He punches her in the stomach and starts kicking her.

"Stop! Stop! Please!" She shrieks. He backs off and stomps away. She crawls up and limps to the first door she sees (Ironically another janitors closet) You follow her and see her in the corner sobbing. You pull her into a hug and she calms down a little. "

Who was that jackass?" you ask.

She gulps back tears. "Equius, my boyfriend."

**Tah- Fucking-Dah! I hope you liked that chapter!**


	4. My Boyfriend, My Lover

"You're DATING him?" Karkat asks incredulously.

You sniffle softly. "We've been dating since 7th grade."

Karkat sighs "when did he start doing- He stops, and gestures to your bruised and bloody face. - this?"

A small sob escapes your lips. "summer after 8th grade." You curl up into a smaller ball and turn away from Karkat. He grabs your arm.

"Why do you put up with him?" Karkat almost shouts.

"I can't, Karkat, I can't! You don't understand!" You sob.

Karkat looks at you with an apologetic look. He runs a hand through his messy hair.

"You're right, I don't, now please let me see the wounds."

He reaches up and turns on the light, then gasps. "Y-y-your face…." He trails off.

There's a mirror in the closet and you struggle up and look in it. You have a large bruise on the left side of your face and a little blood is stained on your cheek.

"Its fine," you say "Now can we please go get some lunch?" You look at the clock. "We still have 15 minutes left"

Karkat gets up and helps you out of the closet; then he walks you over to a table with 3 boys and 4 girls sitting at it. A boy with wild hair looks up at you. "Karbro, who's this?"

Karkat sighs. "Estelle, this is Gamzee, Sollux, Tavros, Nepeta, Vriska, my girlfriend Terezi, Kanaya and her girlfriend Rose."

"Hi." You say shyly.

You and Karkat sit down, and Gamzee starts talking. "Karbro did you see the mother fucking fight? I heard that Equius beat up a kid who cut in front of him in the mother fucking lunch line or some shit."

"I heard he knocked the poor girl unconscious." Vriska pipes up.

You notice Rose staring at you oddly. "It wa'th a girl?" Sollux cuts in.

"Yes, that's what I heard too!" Nepeta exclaims.

You look down at the table. "Oh, it was a girl alright." Vriska says "Did you hear the screams 'No Equius, no!' It was pitiful." Vriska smiles evilly. "What did you hear about the fight Estelle?" She bats her eyelashes innocently.

"Yeah Estelle," Tavros says, speaking at last.

"Come on Estelle, spill!" Terezi says.

"Erm… I think it might have been his girlfriend," You say, still staring at the table.

"Um…. What? I think I know Equius better than you and he would never beat up his girlfriend!" Nepeta exclaims.

"Why would you think that?" Terezi says hotly.

"That'th me'thed up!" Sollux says.

The lunch bell rings. As soon as it does Rose and Kanaya jump up and pull you away. They pull you into the girl's bathroom and Kanaya pulls out a makeup bag.

"Wait what?" you sputter. "I have gym now!"

"If they see the bruises, they'll know your were in the fight." Rose says calmly as Kanaya puts light foundation over the bruise.

"What? How did you know?"

"Well you didn't look up at the table and I used my mirror to see your face, which by the way looks much better now, but when you said he beat up his girlfriend, it all clicked." Kanaya said airily.

You look at your face and the bruise is gone. "Ice it tonight and see what you can do with makeup tomorrow." Rose said matter o' factly.

You quickly change into gym clothes and hurry into the gym. You see Equius, Karkat, Gamzee, Nepeta, and Vriska in the gym talking in a small group. You walk over to the bunch

"Hey guys." You say quickly and timidly.

"Hey." Karkat says. He's the only one who speaks.

Equius grunts and walks away with Vriska. A Toned blonde man with pionted shades walked into the gym.

"Okay so listen dudes, and dudettes I guess, I'm Mr. D. were doing a beginning boot camp and if you can't do it, you will get picked on by the people who can do it. So, I suggest you try your best."

He pulls out his IPhone and plays a track of music that's not bad. You start running and are soon in a rhythm. _15 jumping jacks, 10 squats, 15 jumping jacks, 10 crunches, 15 jumping jacks, 10 sit ups, _and so on.

You see girls and boys beside you looking winded, but you could do this all day. The music cuts off suddenly and you stop and look up at Mr. D and see his devilish grin.

"All right, were having a contest, an endurance contest. You will run laps, those who start walking, or stop at all, lose. Simple as that. Okay? Good, now go, go, go!"

You start running. 10 minutes pass, 7-8 kids are sitting out, 5 more minutes and Vriska's done, Karkat after a few more, until it's just you and Equius. He looks at you telling you to stop but you run ahead ignoring him. After 5 more minutes you hear a thump but you ignore it, then some applause and Karkat, Gamzee, and Nepeta running out to you. "Stop running!" Nepeta says. "Yeah! You motherfucking won!" You turn around to see Equius on the ground panting and Vriska next to him. You sit down and the bell rings. _Just great._ You think but as you turn to leave you see Equius mouth 2 words. _You're dead._


	5. Blood and Tears

**So, sorry I wasn't updating… School and emotional stuff have put me on a writer's block, so this'll be short. (This is Karkats pov) **

The day finally ends and as you get on the bus, you think of the craziness that happened over the course of the day. You hear more whispering on the bus and are able to catch a few wisps of conversations. _Beat up his girlfriend….. I heard it was Estelle… The new girl…She has like, a gazillion siblings… all famous….._ As you look out the window you see a car driving level with the school. It's Estelle and she looks up at you and waves. A small sad smile on her face. You get off and see the house dark. You walk in to see _no one? _You see a small note on the table. It's from mom.

_Karkat-_

_I got a job! I'm working as a live-in maid, and it started at noon today so I had to pack while you were at school. Here's a new house key and directions. Pack up your stuff and head over. (Enter through the side.)_

_-Mom._

You walk to your room and grab the essentials first. Laptop, headphones, guitar, clothes, and some pictures and sentimental junk. You take one last look at the now empty space and sigh. _I'm gonna miss this place. _15 minutes later you walk up the side steps and unlock the door. You see your mom sitting in the living room reading, she looks up long enough to point you to your room to set your stuff down. You come back into the living room and she looks up excited. "You know who were working for right?" she says. "No….." She grins broadly "The Clearwater's!" she exclaims. "What?" you practically yell. "Yeah, they have a daughter your age, Estelle? I think is her name." You run to your room and pick up pester chum. You see Kanaya is online._ She'll know what to do. _You think.

GrimAuxiliatrix: Yes?

CarcinoGeneticist: HOLY SHIT MY MOM JUST GOT A NEW JOB

GrimAuxiliatrix: Congratulations?

CarcinoGeneticist: NO, NOT CONGRATULATIONS! MY MOM IS WORKING FOR THE FUCKING CLEARWATER'S, ESTELLES FUCKING FAMILY.

GrimAuxiliatrix: So?

CarcinoGeneticist: ITS ESTELLES FUCKING FAMILY. HER BOYFRIEND IS A TOTAL DICK.

GrimAuxiliatrix: Yes, Equius is quite harsh.

CarcinoGeneticist: HOW DO YOU KNOW EQUIUS IS HER FUCKING BOYFRIEND?

(After a lot of explaining)

CarcinoGeneticist: WELL WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?

GrimAuxiliatrix: It's only as awkward as you make it. Now I've got to go, Rose is helping me with homework.

GrimAuxiliatrix has ceased trolling CarcinoGeneticist

You ponder Kanaya's words. _Only as awkward as I make it? How awkward do I make it?_ You walk outside and sit in the garden. It's quite nice. You see a tall girl walking across the courtyard. "Hey kid!" she shouts, walking over to you. "Who the hell are you? No loitering, this is private property!" She yells. "M-m-my mom is the new maid." You stammer. "Oh," She stops and smiles. "I'm sorry, I'm Danni, nice to meet you….?" "Karkat, Karkat Vantas." "Well then Karkat, see you around." She walks off into the house. You feel your phone buzz. Terezi. You pick it up immediately.

GallowsCalibrator: H3llo?

CarcinoGeneticist: HEY TEREZI

GallowsCalibrator: Wh4t th3 fuck dud3.

CarcinoGeneticist: WHAT DID I DO?

GallowsCalibrator: Why didn't you t3ll m3 th4t your mom got 4 n3w job?

CarcinoGeneticist: I JUST FOUND OUT. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?

GallowsCalibrator: K4n told m3.

CarcinoGeneticist: SERIOUSLY?

GallowsCalibrator: Y3p.

You look up to see Estelle storming out of the house with tears streaming down her face. Two seconds later Equius follows, a screaming match ensues. Then Equius punches her, you've had enough.

CarcinoGeneticist: GOTTA GO,

GallowsCalibrator: Oh, by3! 3

GallowsCalibrator has ceased trolling CarcinoGeneticist

You look back up and see more screaming, punching and blood. Equius finally stalks off and you rush over, only partially conscious Estelle seems surprised to see you. "Karkat?" her voice is faint. You pick her up and hurry back to your room, tiptoeing past your mom asleep on the couch. You lay her down, grab the first aid kit, and start on the wounds. You start with the head, _minor bleeding. _You think as you put a compress on it. You see Blood staining her shirt and you lift it slowly, it looks like a knife wound. _What the fuck is this guy playing at?_ You wrap her stomach and lay her down. You hear soft breathing and you breathe a silent sigh of relief. You turn to your computer. _Kanaya, Kanaya, Kanaya, Come on! _You jump when you see she's online.

CarcinoGeneticist: OH MY FUCKING GOG KANAYA GET OVER HERE.

GrimAuxiliatrix: What?

CarcinoGeneticist: ESTELLE, SHES HURT, I THINK STABBED. OH MY GOG OH MY GOG.

GrimAuxiliatrix: I'll be over soon. Rose is coming too.


	6. Thanks Karkat

**I'll be out of town w/ no Wi-Fi this week, so this'll be it for a while. But I swear I'll be back in black soon, and I have a few tricks up my sleeve. ;;;;) **

-You're pacing back and forth until you hear the doorbell ring. You practically pull Kanaya and Rose into your room.

"Well?" you ask, after she's assessed the damage. "No internal damage, but stitches are advised." Kanaya says. "Do we need a hospital for that?" You ask "Not with us you don't." Rose says, pulling you out into the hall. 15 minutes later the door opens, you see Estelle on the bed sleeping peacefully. "She'll wake up soon." Rose assures as they leave. You get on your computer and see you have a message from John. _Perfect. _You groan inwardly.

EB: Hello? Karkat?

CG: HELLO SHITHEAD, HOW WILL YOU ANNOY ME TODAY?

EB: hahahaha, good old karkles.

CG: DON'T CALL ME THAT.

EB: I was just kidding :B what's wrong Karkat?

CG: NOTHING.

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling EctoBiologist [EB]

You hear Estelle start to stir. You turn around and sit on the bed next to her. "You awake?" You ask quietly. She gathers her surroundings, clearly oblivious to what happened. "Wha….." she groans. Then it clearly hits her and she bursts into tears. You pull her into a hug, shushing her sobs. You hate seeing her like this, so helpless and innocent. You hate that dick that makes her like this. She takes a deep gulp of air. "T-t-tell me what h-h-happened." She says in a shaky voice so you tell her. You see silent tears streaming down her face by the end.

"Why were you fighting?" You ask.

"I tried to end it." She says flatly.

"Oh." You say. She tries to sit up then falls back down.

"I need to get home." You help support her off the bed. And she leans on you the entire way to her room. You set her down on the bed and silently exit. "Karkat," You hear her whisper. You turn around and see her looking up at you. "Thanks."

**That's it… ::::/ sowwy. I still have to pack for my trip so I'm super stressed. But I didn't want to leave y'all hangin. **


	7. Apologies, Songs, and More Tears

Chapter 8

It has been 6 weeks, 7 days, and 9 hours since the stabbing. (Not that you're counting) She hasn't looked at you since. You remember it all like it was yesterday.

_She wasn't in school on Tuesday or Wednesday, and she was so different when she did. Her strawberry pink waves were black and blue. Royal blue, you couldn't help but notice, Equius blue. With low hanging side bangs covering almost all of the left side of her face, she appeared much more unapproachable now. She was paler, and she never smiled. She flinched when she was called on, and she seemed terrified of interaction._

But now you're at your locker right before lunch staring at a small note that looks like it was written quickly and shoved into your locker hastily. And it's from Estelle.

Karkat-

Meet me in Cherry Field Park on Friday.

Estelle

you shove it in your backpack and hurry to lunch. _Should I go?_ Of course you're going, it'll break both your hearts if you didn't. And you need answers. You get to your table and sigh. She's missed so much, Tavros and Gamzee finally got together, Sollux and Aradia broke up, but you, Nepeta, Rose, Kanaya, and Terezi were there. Congratulating, comforting, and helping all the way through. Vriska, of course was snarky and unhelpful as usual.

"Hey karkles!" Terezi grins and licks your cheek as you sit down.

"Hey TZ." You reply. You look over and see Estelle in her usual place next to Equius picking at the salad in front of her.

"Soooooooo Karkat, what are you doing for Halloween?" Vriska asks. Of course it's the crazy spider bitches favorite holiday.

"Nothin'" you shrug. "You comin' to my paaaaaaaarty?" She asks, mock offended i had forgotten about it.

"When does it start?" You ask, fake groaning. Vriska may be a bitch, but she can throw a damn good party.

"It starts at midnight, and ends whenever." She shrugs. Kanaya and Rose finally sit down, and your usual chatter begins. Talking about homework and complaining about teachers. You get lost in thought today though. _Why is she doing this now? Why won't she talk to me?_ You are awakened to reality by Terezi licking your cheek. "What's wrong Karkles? You smell depressed." She cocks her head, waiting for an answer.

As if to save you, the lunch bell rings. You have gym next, great. You're doing basketball, and with your 5 foot 3 stance, you're not exactly perfect for it. You walk in to see Equius laughing with his cohort Eridan, his girlfriend Feferi, and Vriska, and Estelle standing next to him quietly. You wonder if Eridan is the same way with Fef. No, he isn't, it's obvious from everything from her stance to her clothing. Mr. D walks in and class begins. Estelle hands him a note and sits down. She pulls out a small notebook and start writing. You wonder why she never participates. But as class begins, it gets pushed to the back of your mind. You actually learned something in that class. Basketball SUCKS. You're a sweaty heap by the end of class. The rest of the day passes uneventfully and as you get on the bus home you remember. Tomorrow's Friday! You will finally get some answers!

Friday passes by in a blur. You walk to Cherry Field and you see Estelle sitting under a cherry tree strumming a guitar. You hear a soft, sweet, but undeniably strong voice floating towards you. As familiar words fill your ears, you harmonize accordingly.

"I don't like walking around this old and empty house."

"So hold my hand I'll walk with you my dear." She looks up surprised but keeps going.

"The stairs creak as I sleep its keeping me awake."

"It's the house telling you to close your eyes." You sing as you sit.

"Some days I can't even dress myself" You notice her voice is growing slightly louder.

"It's killing me to see you this way."

"Cause though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore." You sing together before falling back laughing.

She looks at you seriously then takes a breath. "You have a nice voice you know."

You feel a small smile playing at your lips. "Thanks,"

She sighs softly. "Here." She hands you an envelope. "It's an explanation." She tucks it into your bag before you can protest. "I want to repay you sort of, so let's play a game."

"What kinda game…..?" You wiggle your eyebrows playfully. She smacks your arm.

"You get 10 questions, and I'll do my best to answer truthfully. Then, it's your turn. No comments or objections till the end."

"Got it." You nod, thinking of all the possibilities.

"Okay….. Why did you move to this school?" she seems to relax.

"Well, my Mom's business started off in Scotland, but she wanted a bigger U.S empire. So, she left my eldest brother Brian in charge and moved the rest of us to the U.S. She needed space for all of us so she bought multiple houses all next to each other in a cul-de-sac. I live in the middle house, with Arin and Devin, but I get the whole 4th floor to myself."

You notice a Scottish accent start to come out as she relaxes. "Why don't you always have an accent?"

"Well, Equius thought it was irritatin' so he made me take speech therapy and such to get rid of it."

You force back the seething anger rising inside of you. "Why thirteen kids?" You ask, the question was random, but you felt the need to ask it.

She visibly slumps before answering. "My mom's real superstitious, so she only wanted twelve, but she got careless and boom, I exist."

You are slightly shocked by her bluntness. "What's up with you and crowds?"

She speaks in a quiet voice. "I have extreme anxiety, triggered by crowds, I can't go anywhere without pills." She flips open the top of her messenger bag and you see a fairly large bottle of anxiety pills.

You are silent for a moment. "What did you do to your hair?"

"Equius came over around midnight the night you saved me. We talked for hours and he took me t get my hair dyed the next morning. I didn't want to, but I was terrified to go against him after the events that transpired." She says after several minutes of silence.

You hear your phone chime. "One sec." You tell her. Its Vriska.

CG: WHAT?

AG: I'm sorry.

CG: EXUSE ME?

You get your answer a second later. A picture of Terezi, kissing Dave. You drop the phone, shell-shocked. Estelle picks it up and gasps. She tries to pull you into a hug but you push away.

"Don't touch me!" You snap at her. She looks visibly hurt.

"Karkat I'm so sorry, I know how much you loved her."

"No you don't, you haven't been here for 6 weeks! You don't know what love is! You're surrounded by a boyfriend that hates you, and you don't have enough strength to leave! You're not scared, you're weak." You yell at her.

You see the fire in her eyes. "You don't know what you're talking about." She says softly but stiffly.

"Yes I do! You can leave! Walk away, something other than standing and letting yourself get pummeled!" You full blown screaming at her.

"Do you have any idea what I've been through? Constant insults, constantly being told I'm not good enough! Being called fat every time I walk through a god damn door!"

"Maybe because it's all true!" You roar. You see the tears in her eyes as she grabs her things and leaves.

You put your head between your knees and cry. No longer for Terezi, but because you know, everything you just said will have terrible consequences.

**I told you I'm back! Sorry for the long wait, I was gone crazy long and I was super tired so this is going up today instead of last night.**

**Love ya lovelies! **


	8. The Real Apologies

Chapter 9  
**oh my Gog I'm sorry. My Wi-Fi was down and I could literally do nothing. But, I was writing the entire time so here are 2 more chapters! **

You sit down on your bed and just sob. You cry for all the words he said, all the words he meant, all the pain Equius causes you, all the unspoken words and forgotten conversations.  
You reach under your mattress and grab your knife then you roll up your sleeves and look at the array of scars. You slice slowly, savoring the release of tension, forgetting, even for a second, that you will have to face the world tomorrow. You lie back on your bed and hear your phone chime. Karkat. You answer, even though you just want go to sleep and never wake up. You feel like that a lot lately.

CG: HELLO?

CF: What?

CG: IM SORRY.

CF: No you're not.

CG: ARE YOU TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT?

CF: Add that to the list of things that are "true".

CG: MEET ME IN THE COURTYARD IN 10

CG: PLEASE.

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] has ceased trolling ChaoticFairy [CF]

-

Estelle, be Karkat.

You get home and go straight to your room. You call the only person you can think of, Kanaya. Damn, answering machine. Okay, Rose then. Damn, more voicemail. You sigh. The only one you know will be here. John.

"Hello?" The annoyingly perky voice is making this harder.

"I need your help. Don't ask questions; just be here in 5"

The silence on the other end is deafening.

"Please?" You feel your voice crack involuntarily

"Okay." Was the only reply. You gave him directions and you go out in the courtyard to meet him. Then you text Estelle. John finally gets here, followed by Jade. "I thought she could help." He explained. You sigh, exasperated.

"Okay, I'm gonna tell you some stuff and you need to promise not to tell anyone." You say, looking straight into their eyes.

"We promise." They say pretty much in unison. You explain everything, by the end John is staring at the ground and Jade is in tears.

"Why doesn't she call the cops?" Jade asks.

"He has connections, they'll kill her." You answer softly. The silence is crushing, you break it.

"I need to apologize, what do I do?"

"Flowers and a reason." John answers. "I know you can do this Karkat." Jade says as they turn and leave.

You dash inside and grab your guitar and a small bouquet of daisies. You needn't wait much longer because there she is, walking down the path. You see her, and you drop everything and pull her into a hug. She flinches, then relaxes. You let her go. She stares at the ground. You lift up her chin.

"I am so, so, so sorry." You say softly. You pull her into a hug, and you feel tears on your arm. She's crying softly and you let her sit down. You pick up the guitar. She smiles as you strum a few chords.

"There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back," she sings softly.

"Well tell her that I miss our little talks." You sing, teasing her.

"Soon it will be over, and buried in our past."

"We used to play outside when we were young, and full of life, and full of love!"

"Some days I don't know if I am wrong or right."

"Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear."

"Cause though the truth may vary this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore."

You both laugh for what seems like hours at nothing in particular. You are both so happy to have a reason too, even if it doesn't make sense.

"We never got to finish the game." She said, crossing her legs.

"What game?" You wiggle your eyebrows.

She shoves your arm and gives you a look.

You fake sigh. "What question are we on?"

"Five." She states with a certainty that's as unwavering as is unnerving.

"Okay... How did you meet Equius?"

"He approached me in the hall one day and he simply told me I was pretty. I'm not particularly used to that, so I let him buy me ice cream after school."

"What's with all the sweatshirts?" You ask, hoping to lighten the mood.

"They make me feel safe." She answers without a pause. You find it odd that she didn't stop to think at all. You decide not to push it.

"What instruments do you play?" Trying to be casual is hard.

"Acoustic guitar, bass guitar, actual bass, and piano. Oh! And I DJ!" She says, counting off on her fingers.

"Can I hear one of your songs?"

She slides a pair of ear buds into your ears and plays a mixtape that could easily compare to Dave's. Bluh. You don't even want to think about that backstabbing bastard right now.

"This is good!" You exclaim.

"Always a tone of surprise." She deadpans. "This is your last question. Make it count."

You think. So many choices. "Do you love him?" You ask in a quiet voice.

She stares at the ground and shakes her head no. "Not anymore." She whispers.

You pull her into you and she lies with her head on your shoulder. You strum your guitar.

"Little miss done on love, little miss, I give up. Little miss I'll get tough, don't you worry about me anymore." You sing softly. When you see she's smiling you keep going.

"Little miss checkered dress, little miss big old mess, little miss I'll take less when I always give so much more"

Your voice trickles off as you forget the chorus. Damn it. You continue.

"Little miss do your best, little miss never rest, little miss be our guest I'll make more anytime it runs out."

You hear Estelle's slow and steady breathing and you realize she's asleep. You whisper the next verse.

"Little miss come so far, little miss hide your scars, little miss who you are so much more than what you like to talk about."


	9. Off The Edge

Chapter 10

**Im thinking of making this a 15 chapter story and I might make a sequel... maybe...**

you wake up to find Karkat next to you, staring up at the clouds.

"What do you see?" You ask. He looks up surprised.

"Oh you're awake, welcome back to reality." You lay down next to him. It's silent for a moment, but not a deafening crushing silence like normal. It's serene and peaceful. You decide you like this silence better.

"Did you ever want to live on a cloud?" He asks.

"More than anything. I used to dream about little cloud people flying down and taking me to their house." You say in a sleepy voice. Your face turns a little pink.

"You probably think that's stupid."

"No, not at all, actually." He says.

"I should get back, it's getting late." You say as you get up. You turn back to see him walking the other way. _Vale_ _amor_, _vale_. (That's Latin btw. Use google translate to figure it out. )

-  
Estelle, be Karkat

You wake up at around 10 and you hear your phone ring. Terezi. You pick it up. _Time to face the music._

"Hello?" You say

"Karkles! Hey, wanna go ice skating later with me, Dave, Rose, Kanaya, and John?"

"Why, so you can spend the entire time kissing Dave?" You say angrily. No turning back now.

"Excuse me?" She says.

"Vriska sent me a picture. You wanna know what was on that picture?"

"No." She says quietly.

"It was nothing, just my GIRLFRIEND kissing one of my OTHER friends. Who by the way, is NOT ME! What, did you 'mistake' him for me, like when you kissed Jake?"

"I'm sorry Karkat." You hear the sobs in her voice.

"Me too. Sorry I ever dated YOU!" You shout the last word before you hang up. You sit on your bed and think for a minute before you text Estelle.

CG: JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH TEREZI.

CF: wanna go to Dunkin and talk about it? We can work on homework and play some video games afterword's at my place if you want.

CG: AT A RISK OF SOUNDING LIKE DAVE, HELL YES.

CF: see you in ten.

chaoticFairy [CF] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You proceed to have one of the most real feelings jam in all of paradox space. It was mostly your feelings though. She still isn't much of a talker.

You stop in your room to grab your backpack, and then head to Estelle's room. You get to fully realize how fucking awesome it is. There's a sketching table in the corner and the black and pink striped cork board walls are almost invisible under the amount of drawings tacked on the wall. You see a huddle of instruments in the corner, but her bass is kept leaning on her sketching table. It's pretty bad ass, black with a pink strap and decals. It's girly, but not girly, like gothic girly, wait what the fuck? You realize you don't know what half those words mean. You sit down on the floor and you decide to start with French first. You suck at French.

"Are you like fluent in this or something?" You ask groaning.

She turns to you grinning. "Yup, I also speak Latin." You stare at her. "Seriously?"

She smirks at you "cunctis diebus, illic quasi admiratione"

"You're so frustrating." You lay back.

"Sed, si me amas." She laughs. You slam your head against the floor. "Make it stop!"

She smiles. "Nisi nom vos."

You decide to take a break, and she spends the next hour kicking your sorry as in mortal combat.

"GOG FUCKING DAMNIT MOTHERFUCKING PEICE OF SHIT CONTROLLER, BROKEN ASS GAME!" You scream as the screen comes up 'fatality' for the tenth time.

"You chose this remember." She teases. "Over confident huh?" You grab her and start tickling her. Begin the most epic battle in all of paradox space. You're both breathless on the floor laughing again when you hear heavy footsteps and a tall figure fills the door.

Karkat, be Estelle.

You see a tall figure walk through the door and your breath catches. Dad. You get up hastily and see him holding a bottle of whiskey. As usual. "Who's this?" He asks. His words are slurred heavily. Shit. He's worse when he's drunk.

"Why do you need to know?" Karkat asks. That little shit. His mouth will be the death of him. Literally.

"I need to know why my daughter is alone in a room with some little creep." He yells, pushing Karkat against the wall.

"Dad get off!" You yell, hoping, praying, that Arin, or someone hears.

He turns around and smiles at you. That smile is a death warning. He reaches in his pocket for his knife and slashes wildly at Karkats face and body. He drops him to the floor and stumbles away. You do the first thing that comes to your head. Call 911. You dial, hands shaking.

"911, what is your emergency?"

You take a gulp. "My best and only friend has been stabbed several times and is possibly dead."


	10. Backstories

Chapter 11

**Hello! So this will definitely be a 15 chapter story, and a sequel might maybe come out if you guys like this story.**

You wake up in the hospital a day later and you see Estelle reading a book. You cough and she looks over. She looks so relieved.

"Oh thank gog your awake!" She exclaims. You look at her with a mix of anger. anger and sadness.

"What. The. Hell. Happened."

She sighs. "After my dad stabbed you, I called 911 and when they came I told them you had been mugged, and that I carried you back here." She practically whispered, staring down at her feet.

"Why are you protecting him?"

"I'm not! He'll kill both of us if he finds out we told!" She says angrily.

You sigh. "I get three questions. I deserve them." She nods and looks up at you expectantly.

"Is he the reason you cling to Equius?" You stare at her. Not flinching.

She looks at her feet and nods silently. "He may be mean, but sometimes he makes me feel loved. Something i don't feel often."

You're silent as you contemplate your word choice. "Does he do this often? Your dad, I mean."

"Abuse? I guess. Stabbing? Only when you fight back, and normally its a waring scratch."

"Whats the whole dad situation?" You ask, it confuses you.

She looks uncomfortable. "Um, well Brian, Daniel, and Rossaline are the product of Peter Goff, the actor. Dani was Peter's from an ex marriage. Donna, Ariel, Lucy, and Bonnie are the product of Ross Evergreen, and Joseph, George, Devin, and Arin are Christof Grew. And, me, side affect of John Pike.

You hate how she refers to herself as the side affect.

"Who else has come to see me?" You ask, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, John and Jade came in yesterday, and Rose and Kan came in about an hour ago. Rose told me that Terezi and Dave are stopping by with Gamzee and Tavros. Then Sollux and Aradia are here now."

"I slept for a DAY? When you got stabbed you slept for like an hour or two!"

"I've built up a resistance." She grimaces. "Now I think Gamzee and Tavros are here too."

"Can you bring them in?" You want to have someone to talk to.

She exits the room and walks in with Sollux and Aradia, followed by Dave, Terezi, Gamzee, and Tavros. Estelle exits.

"Oh my mother fuckin jegus." Dave says. You believe he's unaware that you know of his affair with Terezi.

"Um, you feeling better?" Tavros asks

"Well, Im not dead." Tavros chuckles self consciously.

"Can I get a minute with Dave?" You ask. He looks pretty damn confused from what you can see of his face because his damn shades.

"What?" He asks.

"Why did you kiss Terezi?" He looks taken aback.

"Excuse me?"

You pull out your phone and show him the picture. He stares down at the floor.

"I broke up with Terezi. Feel free to date her I honestly don't care. Now get out."

He exits silently. You deal with the small talk from your friends and the day passes uneventfully.

Estelle actually goes home that night because of school the next day. You wonder what Equius will do because shes been gone for the day. You realize you haven't read Estelle's explanation. You pull it out of your backpack.

Karkat-

I'm so sorry that I couldn't tell you this sooner, but thank you. I owe you my life, literally. Now that I got that out of the way, I have a story. After you dropped me in my room, I got a call from Eridan. He said that Equius is in jail and I needed to bail him out. I told him I couldn't, because well, I couldn't walk. Eridan got very angry and demanded I get over there. I went, after grabbing some old crutches. (I was a clumsy child.)

I got over there and Equius was allowed a phone call with me. He threatened me, but for once in my life I had the power. I tried to use it, but a blow from Eridan to the head shut me up fast. I let him out, but as soon as we got outside, the two of them double teamed me, kicking away the crutches and beating me. I stumbled my way back into the jail for help, only to find it abandoned. I am obviously still alive so no use getting into specifics about what I did.

But what really bugged me, was that when I had the power for once, he took it away. How is it possible that one person can suck the life out of me so easily. And thats when it hit me. I'm still in love with him. I would do anything for him. Its not fear that makes me keep those secrets, (well, fear is still a part of it.) Its love. Im still in love with the Equius I used to know. And Im holding on to a silly hope that he'll come back.


	11. Facebook and Fighting

**Hey! So this is mostly a filler chapter. So... Should I make a sequel? Please reveiw or pm me! **

You stand, shell shocked at what you read. What is his problem? You intend to find out. You grab your laptop and pull up any social media you can find on the guy. You see pictures from years ago with them both laughing, smiling, doing things together. But in about the course of four months, those pictures stopped. They began to all be of him. At the bar, at a concert, with Eridan and Feferi. Estelle is in one recent picture. One of him and her. Shes doing what appears to be both of their homework, while he's smoking.

You find her facebook and you see about the same thing pretty much. Except all the pictures after that point are drawings. Her drawings. You realize. There beautiful. Landscapes, flowers, but mostly people. Pictures of the teachers,pictures of Feferi, pictures of what you reconize as you. But one picture catches your eye. It looks like it was taken with a camera, but you can see the pen lines. Its half a girls face. With long, frizzy, firey red hair and deep blue eyes. Its her. You look back on Equius's page, and see that in the early pictures, her hair was that same beautiful red. You go to sleep finally, the picture of her dancing in your head.

You get to leave the next day, and judging by the calender, you have 3 days untill Vriska's party. You have your costume, your going as Edgar Allen Poe. You text Estelle.

CG: YOU GOING TO VRISKAS PARTY?

CF: Yeah, Equius is making me go.

CG: WHAT ARE YOU GOING AS?

CF: Superman and Lois Lane.

CG: COOL. CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU AS SUPERMAN.

CF: You wish, bucko.

chaoticFairy [CF] has ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

As you get to school, Nepeta runs up to you "Karkitty! Are you okay?" She stops mid tackle-pounce as she remembers you have stitches. You're to tired to be annoyed. "I'm okay."

Sollux walks up and joins Nep. "Hey kk. How'th it going?

You roll your eyes. "Hey asshole."

"Karkat!" John walks up followed by Jade and Rose.

"Yay! You're back!" Jade exclaims.

"Feeling alright?" Rose asks.

Though you'll never admit it, you're happy to have your friends back. "Hey guys."

You look around. "Wheres Kanaya?" You ask Rose. Typically their inseperable.

"Sick." Rose pulls out her phone and starts texting who you believe is Kanaya.

You see Estelle walking with her head down next to Equius, who is having and animated conversation with Eridan and Feferi. Nepeta runs over and asks Equius a question. And 2 seconds later shes dragging Estelle behind her, back to us.

"Second chances." Nepeta states. Expecting us to know exactly what she means. We all do.

" 'tho, Estelle. Who do you have for math?" Sollux asks.

She looks up slightly. Sollux looks surprised. You know why. He's never met anyone with eyes as blue as his left eye.

"Ms. J. Who do you have?" She says. You see she's releived to not be ignored.

"Oh, so you do talk." Vriska says as she comes up behind us.

You look at Estelle and you see the fire in her eyes.

"Why do you care Serket?" Her teeth are gritted.

"Tut, tut, Clearwater. I thought you knew better than that." Vriska laughs meanly. "Well since you were raised by a deadbeat father and a mother who doesn't care, what was I expecting?" The rest of you back up. You see Nepeta try to intervene, but Rose held her back.

"Don't play with what you don't know." You notice her stance is rigid. She is hunched over, staring at the ground, but even at full height, Vriska is about 8" taller than Estelle.

"Make me. Your nothing but a forgotten misfit who's own boyfriend-" she's cut off midsentance by Estelles foot in her mouth. Vriska's obviously surprised, but she lunges at Estelle. Estelle flips her over her shoulder with ease. She picks up her bag and walks to class, leaving Vriska on the ground.

"Holy 'thit." Sollux says. A few teachers come out to attend to Vriska.

"Did you know she could do that?" John asks as you guys head inside.

"Yeah, karkitty, you seem to be closest to her." Nep asks.

"No. I had no clue." You are thoroughly shocked.

"I'll have to remember not to get on her bad side." Rose jokes. No one laughs.

You get to homeroom and see Estelle sitting there calmly, listening to music.

"Still going to that party?" You ask.

She looks surprised. "Yup. Equius will get his way as usual."

Ms. Lalonde walks in. "Estelle, the principal would like to see you."

Shit. You remember. Vriska's related to the principal.

You jump up. "I'll show her where it is." You lead her out of the room before the teacher can protest.

"Estelle, listen. Vriska's aunt is the principal. We need some backup if your not gonna get suspended."

She nods and pulls out a notebook. After scribbling in a handwriting that could pass as the school secretarys, she hands them to me.

"Show me where their classrooms are and I'll hand these to the teacher."

About fifteen minutes later, Nepeta, Sollux, Gamzee, Rose, and John are gathered around. You attempted to get Jade and Tavros out of class, but they were taking exams. After you explain what your doing,Sollux is the first to speak up.

"Why should we be helping her? We don't even know her!"

Estelle sighs. "I'm gonna let you guys in on a secret. And you have to promise to keep it, okay?"

They all look confused for a minute. But they nod. She explains everything. By the end Nepeta has tears in her eyes, Sollux actually looks angry, Rose and John are nodding like they understand, and Gamzee's forehead is creased.

" I'll kill that mother fucker." Gamzee mutters.

"But Estelle, Equius is one of my best furrends! Do you want me to talk to him?" Nepeta pipes up.

Estelles eyes are wide in fear. "No. Never, ever, EVER, tell him you know about this. Okay? Say okay."

Nepeta is looking at the floor. "Okay."

Sollux scooches over next to Estelle. "Show me your wrists." Sollux says. Estelle recoils, "No." She scoots away from him.

Sollux follows, he grabs her arm. "Do it." She scoots away untill she's practically in your lap. She pulls her sweatshirt sleeves down farther. "No."

You put your arm around Estelle protectively. "Dude, calm the fuck down. Whats your fucking problem?" Sollux looks exasperated. Something clicks in your head. _Sollux lost Mituna to suicide a year ago. He wants to see if she cuts_. "Please man, chill out." You shoot him a look that tells him you'll explain later. He lets go and mutters an apology. You all come up with a game plan and walk to the office calmly. Estelle looks at you and speaks.

"Why is the principal so bad?" She asks with a geniune look of confusion.

You sigh. "Mindfang will do anything to keep her family in the high ranks of the social and eche ladder."

Estelle nods like she understands. Then she turns on her heel and walks into the office with Rose.


	12. The Council

Chapter 12

(Estelles POV)

You walk into the office to see Vriska, Eridan, Feferi, and Jake sitting at a confrence room table. At the head of the table you see a woman dressed in a blue buisness suit and lipstick. You ignore the black spots dancing across your vision as you move to sit. Jake stands up and clears his throat.

"Welcome Estelle. Now before we begin, you realise you face suspension and possible expulsion from the school if nessesary?"

"Yes."

"Who is this?" The lady speaks in a cold, melodic voice. Like a siren lulling out sailors to sea. Before you can explain, Rose jumps in.

"Student code, page 34 paragraph 2 states that the student in question may be represented by a person of their choice in any and all disiplinary matters." Rose speaks firmly and confidently.

Vriska snaps and Feferi pulls out the student code handbook. She looks shocked.

"It checks out. Word for word." Vriska looks outraged, but Mindfang cuts in.

"You don't want a lawyer? Or someone more qualified?" She looks Rose up and down, sizing her up. Her voice is weedling, and you know why, Roses family is some of the best lawyers in the city.

"I'm confident in my choice." You speak as confidently as you can.

She smiles. A wicked smile, like a spider who just caught a fly.

"Well then, let me introduce the student council. Eridan Ampora, president. Vriska Serket, VP. Feferi Peixes, Secretary. Jake English, Treasurer. And me. Marquise Spinneret Mindfang, Principal." You notice she is spider-like in a sense. Long fingers, dainty arms, she is very imposing, but you get the sense she's sly. You hope Rose is more confident than you.

Rose stands. "What are your grounds?"

Vriska leans back. "4 day suspension, 2 weeks detention, 3 hours of community service."

Rose sighs softly. "What is your evidence?"

Vriska sweeps her hair aside and you see a dark bruise all ready forming. "And what is your's?"

"We have multiple students who saw everything and say that Vriska instigated the fight and lunged at Estelle, who acted in self defense." Rose sits, but her back still straightened and her stance imposing.

Eridan steps in. "Do you have wwitnesses to your claims?"

Rose smirks. "Actually we do." She opens the door and brings in Nepeta, John, Sollux, and Karkat.

Eridan is shocked but regains composier. "Bring forwward your first wwitness."

Nepeta stands next to me. "That would be me." She speaks softly but strongly. You feel a deep respect for her growing.

Vriska smirks. "Okay than, please describe what happened."

Nepeta takes a deep breath. "We were standing in the courtyard of the school, talking, when Vriska came up behind us and started making fun of Estelle. Estelle responded and Vriska lunged at her, so Estelle flipped her."

Rose stands with a wicked smile on her face. "Did you say, 'making fun of Estelle' Nepeta?"

Nepeta looks confused. "Yeah?"

Rose's smile is absolutley evil. "Student Code Handbook, page 42 paragraph 7 states that any student on the student council that is found bullying will face immediate expulsion from the council. Now Vriska, I am not mistaken that teasing, or 'making fun of' is a form of bullying, am I?"

Vriska looks shocked. Feferi is feverishly digging through the handbook. "Yes, but! It states that unless you have 3 witnesses, the claim is vetoed." She says quickly.

Rose smile is even bigger. "We have 4." She turns to Karkat, Sollux and John. "You heard Vriska insulting Estelle?" They all nod. Rose turns back towards the council. "Well then, we have our verdict don't we?"

Vriska looks murderous. She stomps out of the room, slams the door and you hear her angry footsteps down the hall.

Rose calmly turns to the council. "You have no evidence supporting any other claims, so therfore, I beilive we win our case."

Eridan looks down defeated. "Wwhatevver. All charges dropped, you wwin. Happy?"

You look up from the table. "Very."


	13. Ditching and Discoveries

Chapter 13

Only 2 chapters left 0_0 (I'll probably make a sequel no matter what... Estelle has really grown on me)

(Karkats POV)

You walk out of the office with your friends feeling pleased. Mindfang comes to the door and speaks with a sly smile.

"Well done ladies. I see you have inhereted your family talent, Lalonde." She nods to Rose. She turns torwads Estelle. "Nice to see you have friends. Not the best bunch, but, they'll do for now, won't they?" Estelle stares at the floor. "What do you mean by that m'am?" She speaks in almost a whisper, her voice cracking. "Well, for someone who grew up around a bunch of theiving bastards, you don't exactly have any good role models, now do you?" You see tear drops hitting the floor.

"What doe'th that mean?" Sollux asks.

Mindfangs smile is gloating. "Keeping secrets, Clearwater? Tut, tut, well, since Estelle here is too embarassed to tell you, I'll inform you. When her mother's father passed away, its seen as odd that as one of 3 daughters, she got all of the money. Its been speculated that she might have forged the will."

Estelle is still looking at the floor. Tears falling hard and fast. Mindfangs clearly enjoying it.

"Her oldest brother is no better. Brian, is it? He's gone to jail for supposedly stealing over 100,000 dollars from the goverment." No sound comes from Estelle who's clearly sobbing.

Mindfang continues. "And her father, a charming fellow. Has been to jail multiple times. Robbery, sexual assult, physical assult, has been diagnosed with more mental diseases than I thought possible. A few might have, carried over, hmm?" Estelle's clearly done. She bolts down the hall, leaving us and Mindfang.

Mindfang's smirking. "Think about all that next time you want to help her." She turns and walks into her office. Leaving all of you standing there looking shocked. Nepeta, Rose, John, and Gamzee go to look for her, leaving just you and Sollux.

Sollux turns to you. " 'Thee? I told you she's no good."

You slump down against the wall. "No. She is nothing like that."

Sollux smirks. "Really? Show me your proof."

You stand up, so infuriated. "Did you not see how upset she was? Are you a fucking idiot? She dispises her father! She has never had a real conversation with her mother, her oldest brother lives in Scotland! If your really that fucking dense you should go hang out with Vriska!"

Sollux looks enraged. "Maybe I fucking will." He storms off. Gamzee walks in and nearly gets knocked over by Sollux. He shrugs and grabs your arm. "We motherfucking found her. She's not talking to any of us."

You allow yourself to be dragged to a janitors closet. Where Rose is sitting next to a small lump in the corner, rubbing circles in her back and whispering words of reasurrance. Nepeta is on the other side, stroking her hair and shooshing her.

John turns to you. "She won't let any of the boys near her." Jade stumbles into the closet along with Aradia. They join the small huddle in the corner, while the boys stand along the wall, getting things, talking to one another. You hear Jade say something about not hating you. Rose stands up and walks over to you. "Go over there. She keeps muttering about how much you must hate her. And something about ten questions." She whispers.

You walk over and place your hand on her back. "Hey."

She looks up and as soon as you see the fear on her face, your heart melts. Shes like a bird with a injured wing. She tries so hard to fly but she just can't get more than a few feet without crumbling.

You pull her into a hug, stroking her hair lightly, shooshing her sobbing until the sobbing fades into her slow and steady breathing. "Shes asleep." You whisper. They all sigh. "Lets motherfucking ditch motherfucking school. I could use some time at the beach!" Gamzee says.

"Yeah! That would be pawesome!" Nepeta exclaims.

"I could do with some time off." Rose agrees.

"It is really hot outside." John shrugs.

Its decided. You all pile into Gamzee's truck,and you take off. Dropping everyone home so they can change, then speeding off towards the last stop, your house. You piggyback Estelle into the courtyard and wake her up.

"Meet me back here in 5. Were going to the beach." She nods and hurries into her house. You sigh. It really is crazy warm for October, its like eighty degrees.

Four minutes and thirty seconds later you're in Gamzee's truck speeding down the highway to the coast. You are fully relaxed already, and since your breakup with Terezi, the girls have never been prettier. Jades in a green and black bikini with fringe in a triangular pattern down the front of the top, Nepeta in a olive tankini with a small black pawprint in the corner, Rose in a Pink and black bikini. Aradia in a reddish one peice with cutouts in the back, and Estelle in a black bikini with orange and red dragons on it with acid washed denim shorts over the bottoms. Jade and Nepeta found an old flag in the back of the pickup and are now holding it up so it billows in the wind. Estelles playing one of her mashups and Rose and Aradia are having a conversation in the shade from the flag. John and Gamzee are up in the cab of the truck and your riding in the cab with the girls drinking a coke from one of the coolers Rose brought.

After about fifty minutes you see the coastline. Everyone piles out and you find yourself in a watergun war with John, Gamzee, and Estelle. After Estelle thoroughly creams all of you, you help set up camp only to find Latula, Rufioh, Damara, Kankri, Kurloz, Muelin, Porrim and Kanaya have showed up. Its getting late and after a dinner of crab that Gamzee, Kurloz and Rufioh caught, everyone kinda pairs off. Kankri and Kurloz, Rose and Kanaya, Porrim, and Damara are having a deep conversation and Estelle is talking to Aradia.

Soon its midnight and everyone comes back out to the hypnotic sound of Estelles mashup. Dancing, singing, yelling, everyones so happy. Then Kurloz brings out the beer. Why not? You think. After one your feeling tingly and warm so you decide to hang back and become a little more stable. You pick up a sleeping Estelle and lay her down in the truckbed. She looks so pretty asleep. You notice something on her hip. A tatoo. Apon closer inspection it says Nulla Odi. One quick look at google translate means it says no hate in latin.

You sigh. If only the world was like that. If only, if only.


	14. The Beginning of The End

(Estelles POV)

You wake up to find yourself in the truckbed curled up next to Equius. He stares down at you watchingly.

"Wha-when did you get here?" You ask, scrambling away. You look arounds still asleep, even Karkat.

He smile evily. "Didn't I tell you to NOT go anywhere with these people?"

You back up slowly. "I'm sorry, I-i-i forgot" You stammer, backing up farther. You feel a hand on your shoulder.

"Back off motherfucker." _Gamzee_. You sigh with relief, Equius would never disobey a highblood. Equius backs off, still shooting daggers though. He stalks off and Gamzee turns you around to face him.

"You motherfucking okay?"

You nod and lay back in the truckbed, staring into the horizon. You remember a line from an old poem.

_When the light grows dim/ and people start to sin_

_ The night sky/ will be our guide/ and lead us home again._

You smile faintly. That poem's so pretty. You lay there until everyones up and packing. The ride home is quieter, but its still fun. Your dreading the party, but your dreading what will happen if you don't go even more.

Estelle, be Karkat.

Finally, the first big party of the year. Even though your not on good terms with Vriska, how could you miss this party? The rumor mill is buzzing that theres going to be booze there. The rumor mill is typicaly correct.

You pull up to the party and see some seniors dropping water ballons on the passing children from the roof. You walk in and are pretty sure you'll go deaf soon at this rate. The music is blasting, people are yelling, its evident that the party is at its peak.

You go over to the snacks and see Nepeta dressed as Catgirl. She perks up when she sees you.

"Karkitty! How do you like the party?"

"I just got here, so im not gonna go make a judgement yet." You smirk.

"Did you hear the mews? Terezi and Dave have started hanging out with Friska!"

You turn around and see sure enough, Dave and Terezi are chatting it up with Sollux and Vriska. As far as you can tell, Dave is dressed as Britney Spears (ironicaly of course)Terezi as Spidergirl, Vriska is supposed to be a vampire, and Sollux is... A zombie? You're not really sure about the last one.

You dance, you laugh, you eat, this is the best night of your life so far. Then Equius and Estelle walk in. Equius makes a decent Clark Kent, but Estelle looks about as much like Lois Lane as the actresses in the movies. You notice her hair is the same though. Odd. Eridan and Fef walk in too, dressed as Aquaman and a harpie. You hear Nepeta muttering.

"I just know he'll listen to me. I'm his morail afpurr all!" She scurries over to Equius and starts talking. Before you realize what she's doing its too late.

"WHY WOULD YOU TELL THESE PEOPLE?" Equius roars, shoving her into the bar.

"I-i-i didn't! I swear, please, please stop!" Estelle cries. Equius is paying no attention to her. His only focus is on beating Estelle to the ground. Girls are screaming, drunken boys are joining in and helping Equius. But you see something that you'll never forget. Sollux started kicking her too. Your heads a mess. You don't care anymore. You're calling 911.

"911, whats your emergency?"

"My friend is getting beaten to death by her boyfriend and his cohorts."

You give the address and help Nepeta and Rose (dressed as literal rose) in getting the drunken boys off Estelle. Equius is still going at it though. Smashing bottles on her, kicking her, screaming at her, stomping on her. Sollux got pulled off by Aradia and he's gone. So's Eridan and Feferi. Soon its just Equius. Sirens blare, policemen, paramedics, the whole shebang are busting down the door. After the policemen are finished subduing Equius (who tried to crack a bottle on the policemans head) you get a good look at Estelle before the paramedics get to her.

You gasp. Bruised and bloody, her hair is for once swept out of her face. A massive bruise is all around her eye. Shards of bottles stuck into her skin, and her right thigh bone is poking out of the skin at a weird angle.

Next thing you know your riding in a cop car to be taken down to the station for questioning.

Rose and Nepeta were well shaken and allowed to go home. You arrive at the station and are seated in a chair across from a desk.

"Okay son, I just need a few answers." The policeman leans back. "You can call me Officer Pat. Okay?"

You nod. "Okay. What is your friends name. The girl, I mean."

"Estelle Clearwater."

"And the the young man attacking her was her boyfriend?"

"Yes, Equius Zahhak."

"Has this been going on for a while?"

"Yes. Since about 2 summers ago."

"Is she on any medication?"

"Anxiety pills, thats all I know of. No drugs though."

Officer Pat nods. "Okay, Any mental disorders?"

You cringe. "Anxiety, triggered by crowds."

"Whats your relationship with her?"

"I'm a close friend."

Another Officer walks in with a file and hands it to Officer Pat. He flips through it casualy.

"You made the 911 call?"

"Yes."

Officer Pat looks at you seriously. "You saved her life. I just got the report from the hospital. Would you like to hear it? Sadly I can't show it to you because of confidentiality."

You nod, terrified at what you might hear.

He takes a deep breath. "After a full body examination, there are many bruises and stitches all over her body that lead us to beleive that domestic violence is a factor. We also see many scars that look self inflicted, and thats typicaly associated with deppression. She also appears to be in the early stages of anorexia."

He looks over at you. "Thats just the notes section. Should I read on?"

You nod. Feeling a tear on your cheek.

He takes another deep breath. "So apparently she's in critical condition and they'll have to do surgery on her leg so she'll be able to walk. Stitches on the cuts from the bottles, standard protocal."

You look up at officer Pat. "Can I see her?" Officer Pat smiles. "Sure." Then an officer rushes in and addresses you

"Are you Karkat Vantas?"

You nod, confused. "I'm afraid your mothers been in a car accident and died on impact." The officer says all in one breath.

You sink to your knees and sob. You sob and sob and sob and sob. You pull your shit together enough to get into the car to go to the hospital where you'll be staying until some shit is worked out, but silent tears are still flowing. You dry your eyes and think of Estelle. Be strong Karkat. You get to the hospital and are shown a small room in which you'll be staying. You fall asleep as soon as you hit the pillow.

You wake up the next day and last night events hit you immediately. You sob until you feel like you'll never cry another tear. A nurse walks by and hears you crying and takes pity on you, so she sneaks you into Estelles room. Shes asleep but you wouldn't be able to tell otherwise because both her eyes are swollen just sit by her bed and hold her hand. Her nails are a matte black. You hear her stir and you jump slightly. She breathes a visable sigh of releif as she reconizes you.

"Karkat, what happened? Why are you crying?" She asks so innocently, so genuinely, but theres a tone in her voice that is so scared that you'll hit her for asking.

You sigh and tell her everything. You pour out the contents of your heart and she catches every single drop and reassembles it.

Eventually you have to leave but Estelle catches your wrist and whispers three words in Latin, then in English.

_Vos sunt confortentur. You are strong._


	15. Epilogue

Chapter 15. _Jegus Christ... and I promised I wouldn't cry! _

You are Karkat Vantas. You are now 15 years old. And you are lonely. You have friends, you have a new family, but you still feel empty. It hurts in a way that you'll never understand. And you don't want to understand.

Estelle was sent to rehab after the hospital. She'll be out by the beginning of August, and will be rejoining the school and stuff. She's different. The light in her eyes, the one she kept so hidden from Equius. The one she was so sure if he knew about it, he would snuff it out, is gone. Rehab took alot out of her. None of her family ever visited. Except for me of course, and Gamzee, John, Jade, and Rose have been super supportive. Nepeta hasn't visited, she still feels like it was her fault.

You got adopted by the Clearwaters (Apparently 14 is a lucky number in some countries.) So as her brother, you get access to all her files. You are a pessimistic person, but even Jade couldn't make her reports look good. She never leaves her room, and when she does, Its to play the piano in the rec room at midnight. She needs to be forced to eat, and when she does, afterwards she'll lay on her bed and cry for an hour about how fat she looks so tired all the time, Deep bags under her eyes and a web of veins. Her already porcilein skin is almost turning an unearthly white.

She isn't allowed to dye her hair, and they made her use dye remover, so her hair is back to its original red saying that anything else would give her a 'false identity.' You see she's been drawing, pictures tacked up haphazardly all over her room. Sometimes you'll just sit there while her meds kick in, and then you see the old Estelle. The Estelle who puts on a smile just to make you smile.

School was pretty horrible, Sollux, Dave and Terezi have officially gone over to the darkside, The side of the spider bitch. They tease you pretty mercilessly, but you shake it off, those douches aren't worth your time. Equius is offically in jail. He'll be rejoining the school in the fall, but Estelle has a pretty hefty restraining order, so that shouldn't be too much of a problem. They were dropping notes in your locker, (them being spiderbitch and Co.) saying things like 'Your sisters a freak' 'she should have died' stuff like that. You're worried that they'll come back and gang up on Estelle.

Thats another thing, even from the beginning you felt like you needed to protect her, like she was already your little sister. (She is technically your younger sister, you think, see, her moms a big believer in natural birth, so she never used a hospital. But when Estelle was born, her mom passed out and couldn't remember what day Estelle was born on, so shes never really had a birthday. She was the baby of the family before, and they didn't feel like changing it.) You know she can handle herself, but you know she doesn't know how.

You find writing on the wall in her room, scrawled in sharpie. Random Latin phrases, Odi Amor,  
Fortis Odi, randomness along those lines, about love and hate and nothingness. She has this one nice dress, really fancy, like the whole fucking shebang, that she brought with her. The nurses say she'll put it on when she goes to play the piano. No one complains about the playing late at night, apparently some other patients think its a spirit come down to give them strength. Leave it to Estelle to give everyone else strength when she can barely find any herself.

Its now July and you're enjoying summer, this is Gamzee and Tavros's senior year, and apparently their moving in to Gamzees place together because its closer to the college Tavros got are actually going to a bonfire on the beach with Gamzee, Tavros, Rose, John, Kanaya, Porrim, Rufioh, Damara, Aradia, Kurloz, Kankri, Jake, Dirk, Roxy, Jane, Nepeta, Meulin and Jade tonight. Your in Gamzees truck at the moment. Jade is billowing out the flag again, this time sitting on the top of the cab of the truck, anchored by ropes Nepeta is holding. The flag is a beacon for the other cars to follow. You sit down and sigh. The massive amount of noise is getting to you. Rose hooked up a massive set of speakers blue toothed into everyone elses car as well as the one your in, playing a playlist of Estelle's mix tapes. They are pretty damned good. And all the girls in the truck (Nepeta, Jade, Roxy, Damara, Porrim and Jane) are dancing along. Its utterly insane and you wish you were in the cab of the truck with Gamzee and Jake.

You get there and its pandemonium. Mix tapes blasting, people are splashing, having various sorts of wars, everything, you sit in the bed of the truck and watch it all. Gamzee comes over with a huge goofy grin on his face.

"Hey Karbro, guess what?"

"What do you want?"

"I have a mother fucking surprise all up in here!"

"What is it?"

"Boo!" Estelle jumps out from behind you, laughing when you shriek loudly. So loudly in fact, everyone turns to look. Seeing Estelle, they all run over to reintroduce. She's so different, out here with people. Suddenly it clicks. Shes lonely. No family visiting, and in the many hours you or your friends aren't there, she has no one.

She looks fabulous, as Roxy is saying now. The same black bikini she wore last bonfire (the one before rehab) looks more powerful with her red mane (which is tied up in a high ponytail, but still reaches the small of her back.) and the acid washed denim shorts almost blend in with her skin, which is technically a bad thing, but who cares really. She also has a black silk parasol, to keep her in the shade you suppose, shes talking and laughing, loving life. But then Dirk comes in and tries to ninja a water balloon at her, she flips him with no hesitation, it looks like an instinct almost. He stands up slowly, takes off his pointed shades and throws them on the ground, she folds up her parasol. A fights about to go down. He lunges at her, and in one fluid movement shes in the air, her foot planted firmly on his shoulder before kicking off and landing behind him. Everyone's watching, betting on who'll win and such. It goes on for at least ten minutes but then it happens, Dirk spins around and lashes out, but Estelle's to fast for him, using his arm as leverage, she spins off him using his size against him, he's thrown off balance and you see a flicker in her eyes, she spin-kicks him and he falls to the ground. She walks over, picks up her parasol, then puts on the glasses as a trophy. She accepts the high fives, but walks over to Dirk and bows, he bows back, then fist bumps her.

"You just got beat, the infamous Dirk Strider, mister master ninja, just got beat?" Jake asks incredulously for the 3rd time.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up English. But be a good boy, or I'll have to recruit Estelle to whoop your ass."

Jake looks genuinely terrified, then realizes he's kidding and relaxes. Estelle walks up to you (still wearing the glasses) and you take a walk along the beach, watching some of the others attempt to catch dinner.

"So, hows life in the outside world?" She asks

"You know the answer, since your out here with us." You reply coolly.

"So? Whats up with Dirk and Jake, are they dating or something?" She sits on a rock and looks up at you

"Jake graduated last year, so he's eighteen, and Dirks only nineteen, but he got a job as the gym teacher here so he could afford a place for Jake and him when Jake graduated."

You talk aimlessly, about school and relationships and nothingness. You meander back to camp and see Nepeta waiting for you guys. Seeing Estelle she jumps up to greet her.

"Estelle, I've been meaning to talk to mew."

You back up slowly, giving the girls some space.

"I'm really sorry I told Equius about your secret, I just thought that since he was my morail after all, i could change him."

Estelle smiles, "I don't blame you, you just can't change some people. Thats a fact we all have trouble accepting."

After a few reassurances and a hug, Nepeta runs off, probably to talk to Jade. Estelle and you walk back to wear her bag is and you see her take out some pills and swallow them quickly. She walks over to John and Aradia and joins in the conversation fluently. You sit back and sigh, she really is different now that Equius isn't a problem anymore. Nightfall comes and a few unexpected guests come to the party, Dave and Terezi. They slip into the crowd quietly and you decide not to make a big deal about it.

Estelle sets up her DJ equipment and the party truly gets started. Everyone's dancing and having an awesome time. You get pulled out to the dance floor by John and Jade, and you are admittedly having an amazing time. Then Dave gets up there and Estelle moves over and happily shares the floor. The duo works amazingly fluently, almost as if they're reading each others minds. Dave starts rapping and Estelle jumps in and a battle begins, everyone's cheering and yelling, chanting names and jumping up and down. Of course Estelle kicks ass, and Dave begrudgingly hands over his shades as a trophy. Estelle puts them on the top of her head and takes outs Dirks shades and puts them on. The crowd cheers, and Dave thoroughly ashamed and heartily embarrassed, lets Estelle take over the floor once more. You never want this night to end but it does, and it happens all too soon.

As Gamzee pulls up to the mental hospital Estelle's staying at, she looks very sad to see you all go, but gives you a quick hug and hops out, waving at the curb the whole while you're driving out of the hospital driveway.

Two weeks later you make a surprise visit at midnight, to hear Estelle play, and as you walk along the hallway to the Rec room, you hear a haunting melody. You stop just outside the door and listen, breathing as softly as possible. As you hear the lyrics your eyes fill with long forgotten tears.

_2_ _am_, _where do I begin? Crying off my face again. The silent sound of loneliness, wants to follow me to bed._

_ I'm a ghost of the girl that I want to be most, I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well. Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby, let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again._

_Too afraid to go inside, for the pain of one more loveless night. But the loneliness will stay with me, and hold me till I fall asleep._

_I'm a ghost of the girl that I want to be most, I'm a shell of a girl, that I used to know well. Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby! Let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again._

_Broken peices of, a barely breathing story. Where there once was love, Now there's only me. And the lonely!_

_Dancing slowly in an empty room, can the lonely take the place of you? I sing myself a quiet lullaby! Let you go and let the lonely in, to take my heart again!_

_Thats it! Oh my jegus... I seriously can't believe its over! I'll probably be doing another story before the sequel, either a DirkJake or a JohnKat (reveiw to choose which you would like to see, or if you want a sequel to this instead.)_


	16. Authors Note

p style="text-align: left;"strongHey y'all! So I realized I never gave full credit to everything and I have a few lose ends to wrap up, so here it is!/strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strong1: the three songs I use are Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men, Little Miss by Sugarland, and The Lonely by Christina Perri. /strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strong2: I will be updating the sequel based on reviews and follows and shit like that, so if you want to see it, do that shit./strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strong3: Thank you to everyone who read this for putting up with all my bullshit and dumb plot twists./strong/p  
p style="text-align: left;" /p  
p style="text-align: left;"strong Thats it./strong/p 


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